Play with Your Dark Side

We shape clay into a pot, but it is the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want. -- Tao Te Ching

2009 rushed into 2010. After a fun trip to Boston for the holidays, I found myself exhausted and a bit depressed. “Why?” I asked. I had a phenomenal 2009: accomplished most of my goals, in a wonderful relationship, living a purposeful life, yet I was not feeling it completely. “What is going on?”

Over the years, I have learned to ride the tide of my rhythms. So I let myself crash, sleep, slow down, and feel... I let myself go. When I finally come out the other side, I feel an incredible surge of creativity and see a much wider and refreshing horizon. “Wow!” I say to myself. “This is amazing!”

I always believe my body is pretty intelligent. It often tells me things that my mind has missed. This time it was telling me that there is a “forest” beyond the “tree” if I only allow myself the time and space to feel it and see it.

In business, we are trained to set goals and achieve them. And that was what I had been focusing on. I focused on making the pot, but I forgot it is the emptiness inside that holds what I want. Yes, I achieved my goals, but I forgot to play and have fun with the creative process. No wonder I was not feeling complete and whole.

In yoga, I am taught to unify the ying and yang – the feminine and the masculine energies. It is the unity of the light and the dark, the positive and the negative charges that underline the brilliant intelligence of the universe. This is true in our business life as well. How can we unify these apposing energies that hold our infinite capacity for creativity and joy? Reflecting on my own experience, I find it helpful to incorporate several paradoxical ideas into my life:

The dark: We all have a dark side. Freud called it the unconscious. It contains a deep reservoir of intelligence and creativity way beyond the grasp of our conscious mind. Highly creative people usually are well versed with the languages of their dark sides. Most of us tap into only a tiny portion of it. Often we are afraid of letting those unconscious thoughts surface into our conscious mind, for the fear of believing them to be our reality. So they remain in the basement. If we learn to relax our gatekeeper a bit, we may get comfortable with the idea of inviting them out for a couple of tea, and having an interesting conversation. Given practice, you’ll be amazed how much creativity and insights flow from that deep well.

The lazy: There is a natural rhythm to everything in the universe. When we get too caught up in achieving our goals, we may ignore it and fight it, which may lead to stress and frustration. Sometimes it is healthy to simply be. Do nothing, and let our well be replenished and rejuvenated.

The different: Most of time we are on autopilot. We form habits for mundane tasks so that we can have freedom to focus on the more complex problems we want to solve. This is extremely helpful, especially when our habits are healthy ones. Another paradox: I find it useful to deliberately break my patterns from time to time. Try something new, go to a new place, or do the same thing a different way. It may give you new perspectives and stimulate new muscles you have not yet developed.

The whole: Navigating in life is like sailing on the ocean. If we only stare at the view 20 feet in front of us, we may completely miss our horizon. It is important to focus on our immediate goals and activities. And it is also very important to look up and around once a while. What we see and how we see it is often a result of where we stand. When we change our angle of perspective, we may see a quite different picture.

In his book “A Whole New Mind: Moving from the Information Age to the Conceptual Age,” Daniel Pink predicts that the Conceptual Age (led by people who use both sides of their brains) will be the next revolution following the Industrial Age (led by people who use primarily their left brains). I agree with his theory. Our world is undergoing some major changes, which demand that we change and adapt as well. According to Darwin, it is not the strongest, nor the most intelligent species that survive, it is the most adaptable.

Surely we can consciously adapt and prepare ourselves for the changes ahead.

My Journey & 7 Pillars of Purpose-driven Entrepreneurship

I was born in China during the Cultural Revolution. China was strict and poor then. And choices were limited. To have a better life, there seemed to be just one narrow road. For millions of young people, that meant going to college, getting a decent job, making a good living and starting a family. But even at a young age, in a land and culture that valued conformity, I felt compelled to seek a different path, a path of inspiration, a path that would somehow lead me to a more purposeful life - my purpose in life.

Despite extreme parental, social and cultural pressures, I rebelled, holding steadfast to my ideal, and refused to live a life that was below it. It was painful and often lonely. And I was fighting a battle that seemed impossible at the time. But for me, the choice was a matter of life or death: I either give up my truths or I leave my country in hopes of finding a way to keep them alive.

I chose the latter.

Without knowing a single soul, I set sail to begin a series of exciting adventures in brand new and completely foreign lands. There were challenges, obstacles and struggles, for sure. But my desire to realize my highest potential was so strong that it gave me the fire and stamina necessary to accomplish my goals. I worked hard and was soon doing well, professionally. Yet I found myself pursuing another "conventional path," just in a different country. It was then my heart again spoke to me, its voice loud and growing louder, telling me, "This is only a stepping stone. There is a purpose waiting for you. Keep searching..."

Several painful relationships also injected the needed fuel for me to begin a new journey, this time from within. I searched and explored, really explored. Yoga, meditation, introspection, dancing, painting, traveling, Burning Man, sweat lodge... Whatever my heart wished to feel, I followed it. Then something interesting was revealed to me - my life's purpose. It almost caught me off guard. And I was surprised to discover that the "apple" was not far from the "tree."

What I am passionate about is the integration of our inner truths with what we do in business. I discovered my niche - a place that blends my deepest passion, greatest gifts and heart-felt values. It is my passion and purpose to share what I have learned and lived in my own journey with others - to help others uncover their life purpose and create a viable business living it.

I call it "The Seven Pillars of Purpose-driven Entrepreneurship."

1. Follow your inspiration: When we are inspired, we innovate, push beyond status quos, and find creative solutions. Our inspiration leads us to uncover our greatest gifts and make our greatest contributions. In turn we enjoy our greatest fulfillment and success. It makes us come alive and brings life to our projects and those around us. Follow your inspiration, it will not steer you wrong.

2. Believe in your ideals: It is by the real that I exist; it is by the ideal that we live. Great countries, institutions and companies are created by a set of beliefs and ideals by their founding members. Believe in your ideals, live by them and inspire others to co-create value-based organizations. Our business is an extension of who we are. Let it reflect that, and make the world a better place than when you found it.

3. Think with your heart: In Chinese character, the word “think” is illustrated as a brain on top of a heart. In the West, we are trained to think with our brain using logics. In the East we believe the key to life and business mastery lies with our heart. It contains all the answers we need to know in order to navigate through seemingly complex life and business landscapes. Think and lead with your heart.

4. Find your niche: Each one of us can do something in a certain way that is better than anyone else in the world. So is the business we create. Finding out or even creating a niche that we can be best in the world at is one of the keys to business success. It takes experimentation and refinement, and sometimes failures. See it as an evolving process to define and refine your core signature on earth.

5. Create value and impact: According to the Law of Compensation, each person is compensation in like matter for that which he or she has contributed. To build a successful business, we need to be a value creator, constantly thinking of ways to increase the value of our contribution to the markets and communities we serve, and create a culture that is based on love and service.

6. Become a hub: Relationships are everything in life and business. The ability to cultivate and build long lasting and mutually beneficial relationships is invaluable. It takes time, energy and conscious efforts. Become a hub or at least an invaluable link in the web of relationships that make up your industries and communities.

7. Pay your dues: There is an incubation period for a seed to grow into a healthy tree bearing fruits. It takes patience, consistent and persistent efforts to build a successful business. We need to put in our hours, energies and resources to create it, build it and grow it. This is given. If we are doing what we love, then why in such a hurry!

A hero's journey begins from within, and extends out to those around us. Our business is an extension of who we are. It is a vehicle for us to fulfill our purpose and live our ideal. We are all heroes, writing our own journeys on earth. How would you like your journey to be written?

Five Elements to Financial Freedom AND Fulfillment

For each of us, our current financial situation is a reflection of our past beliefs and actions. So if you are not happy with where you are, financially, it is an indication that you may need to make some changes in your life. And as integral beings living in an integral universe, when we make positive changes in one area of our life, such as finance, we create positive changes in other areas of our life as well.

The contracting economy in many ways takes away the fatty layers that have kept us in our comfort zone. It can be scary, stressful and uncomfortable. But it also presents a wonderful opportunity for us to look inside, reexamine our lives, and set a new direction for the life we truly deserve and desire.

In ancient times, five elements were used to symbolize the harmonious workings of the universe. Using a similar approach, I have identified five elements that, when properly deployed, will help us build a solid financial structure and reach high for our dreams - elements that will lead us to our ultimate joy and fulfillment in life. The five elements are:

Beliefs (AIR) - Our financial situation reflects to a large degree our beliefs about money: our money memories, and our positive and negative associations about money. What are some of the limiting beliefs you have about money? By examining those beliefs and gaining a deeper understanding of the laws of money, we are able to adopt healthier views and habits - and change our financial condition DRAmatically.

Goals (FIRE) - Successful people set clear goals and have well thought-out plans to achieve them. What is your dream? Does it have a deadline? What is your plan to make it happen? Clear, compelling and concrete goals in alignment with our passion, purpose and values will ignite a powerful force within us and propel us to move forward.

Discipline (EARTH) - Without discipline, a dream does not have wings. It is like a ship that stays in the shipyard. Discipline is one of the most important muscles to help us turn our dream into reality. It is essential that we cultivate and exercise the muscle of discipline so that it becomes a natural part of us and our life.

Alignment (WATER) - Money is a means, NEVER the end by itself. If we don't know what is truly important to us, and align our finances with our passion, mission and values, we will never be fulfilled and satisfied - even when we obtain financial success. It is crucial that we structure our finances in ways that support us and allow us to live our passion, purpose and values.

Relationships (SPACE) - As interconnected beings, we cannot achieve our dreams all by ourselves. Without loving relationships, success is an empty and lonely place to be - even if we get there. It is very important for us to cultivate and develop meaningful and fulfilling relationships that are based on generosity, love and support.

Transformation begins with awareness, and happens in action. Reevaluating our beliefs is the beginning of things. Our beliefs about money often reflects our beliefs about ourselves, relationships, among other things. When we gain clarity on who are are and what we want in life, and make a decision to change those limiting beliefs that have prevented us from moving forward in the past, we will begin to notice the world around us also changes.

To get what we want in life, we need to set worthy goals, and practice discipline, patience and persistence to achieve them. On the other hand, this needs to be aligned with our passion, mission and values in order to fulfill us. We also need to consciously create a harmonious environment that support us to walk confidently towards the directions of our dreams.

There is only one corner of the universe we can be certain of changing, and that's our own self. If we can create more harmony in our own life, we are also bringing more harmony to the world around us.

The secret of success is to be in harmony with existence, to be always calm to let each wave of life wash us a little farther up the shore. ~ Cyril Connolly

Say Goodbye to Financial Stress

Financial stress is one of the greatest anxieties in human life. Why? Because the threat of not having sufficient funds to support life threatens one of our most fundamental needs: the need for safety or security. In a tribal society, people may deal with hunger, but never financial stress. But in our modern society, money is the medium required to fulfill our most basic needs such as food, clothing, shelter and comfort.

The thought of not having enough money to support our life is like a virus. Leaving untamed, it can eat up our creativity, focus, and joy in life. It can carry such a heavy weight on our shoulders that we can’t breathe freely, and live freely. It can even affect our health.

I find the following strategies useful in getting through financial stress, and coming out victorious on the other side.

Practice gratitude – I personally find gratitude the most effective strategy to overcome fear. When we appreciate and focus on what we already have, we feel nourished and strengthened by the invisible force of the universe. We are ready to receive more of what we already have. As long as we are alive and conscious, we can always find something we can be grateful for.

Understand the cycle – In nature, there is spring, summer, fall and winter. Animals are intelligent enough to gather extra food in order to prepare for the tough winter ahead. It is not so much different in human life. There are ups and downs. Change is inevitable. In good times, shouldn’t we strengthen our base to prepare for the unexpected? Good planning and savings seem to be good policies. In bad times, we must also remember, it too, will pass. Understanding the season we are in can help us look ahead and keep a balanced mind when the times gets tough.

Get organized – Fear is like a paper tiger. When you see it as it is, it loses its power over us. Financial stress is no exception. When we get a clear grasp of our current financial situation, we are better prepared to come up with an effective plan to deal with it. If it is debt, knowing the exact amount and its hefty interest rate are much more likely to motivate us to come up with a solution. Bring it to light!

Set worthy goals – It is not mountain that we conquer, it is ourselves. Whatever we encounter, it is an opportunity for us to rise up, higher and higher, every time! Setting goals worthy of achieving can give us energy and power to conquer seemingly difficult situations and reach far into the stars.

Take action – Somehow fear subsides when we take action. Action is like fire. It boils us out of the stagnant water of financial stress. By taking action, we utilize our creative energy to find solutions and move in the direction of our dreams.

I hope you find this piece useful. Many of us are experiencing a great deal of financial stress lately. It would be wonderful to share your strategies with others.

“Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” ~ Mark Victor Hanson

Fear, My Dear Friend

“Death is not the biggest fear we have;

our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive

-- the risk to be alive and express what we

really are.” -- Don Miguel Ruiz

Fear, my dear friend

You are in my body

I can feel you

Every time I step out of my comfort zone

Fear, my dear friend

You are there with me

When I aim to be bigger than

What I already am

Fear, my dear friend

Once I was intimated by your honesty

Once I was overwhelmed by your power

Once I was deterred from fully living

As time goes by

I am getting to know you better

You are my friend, dear fear

You are not there to stop me

You are here to remind me

All is all right

Just keep moving

No longer, I stay in the comfort

No longer, I stop living

Idealism AND Pragmatism

“The human soul has still greater need of the ideal than of the real. It’s by the real that we exist. It is by the ideal that we live.

-- Victor Hugo

From my work with people, and from my observations, I’ve seen the two opposite spectrums of idealism and pragmatism. Some have high ideals, but lack of pragmatic approaches to realize their ideals; yet others sacrifice their ideals for what is practical and “real.”

Idealism without pragmatism is like a beautiful house on paper. It is nice to look at and dream of, but it does not manifest itself into physical reality. Pragmatism without idealism is like putting a house together without a design, it serves some purpose in the short run, but does not create lasting values.

As Victor Hugo put it, it is by the real that we exist, and it is by the ideal that we live. As human beings, we obviously need both: to exist and to live. To create a meaningful and fulfilling life, we need both ideals AND practicality.

The ideal: James Allen said it beautifully, “Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so you shall become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.” Many of us stopped dreaming long time ago when we were told, “It is impossible,” “Get real,” “Be practical.” Deep down, we all have our dreams and ideals, no matter how deeply they are buried inside. To create a life that brings us joy and fulfillment, we need to rediscover our dreams and ideals, believe in them, live in them, and embody them.

The real: There are real demands in life that require us to understand the intricate relationships with people, money, business and the society we live in. These demands call for a practical and realistic approach to strike a healthy balance between results AND relationships, values AND profits, short term AND long term.

Live your ideals AND be real: Often people take an “either/or” approach. If I choose one value, I have to reject or give up the other. For example, if I go for my values, I have to give up profit; if I value relationships, I have to compromise results; if I take a long-term view, I have to sacrifice short-term outcomes. If we can hold two seemingly opposing ideas at the same time and allow ourselves to dance between them, like the yin and yang symbol, we may be able to strike that delicate balance between the two. Striking a balance does not mean arriving at the golden mean being perfect, it means that we hold into our ideals and allow room for flexibility, adaptability, change, and negotiations.

Let Time Bear Dividends for You

“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

-- Steve Jobs

In my last workshop on September 13, 2009, I shared with the audience the importance of finding our passion, and the key steps to turning our passion into profit. One of the elements I spoke about was the need to manage our resources efficiently and effectively, especially our time. This point seemed to resonate with many of the workshop participants. Many came up to me and told me that one of the decisions they made as a result of the workshop was to change how they currently spend their time.

I have heard so often from people that “I don’t have time” or “There is so much to do, I just can’t catch up.” The truth is that we all have the same amount of time: 24 hours x 7 days. This is the only resource that we are given equally. The only difference is where and how we spend it. In my opinion, where and how we spend our time has the greatest effect on the results in our life.

Just look around you and pick an individual. Can you tell where and how they spend their time? Often it can be quite obvious. The question is why we spend our time the way we do? How can we become the master of our own time? I think several distinctions will make a big difference.

Time is value: How we “see” time has a lot to do with how we “use” it. If we see time is something to be killed, then we will kill time. We will find things to do to fill up the space so that we don’t have to face this empty feeling inside. If we feel time is not in our control, but dictated by people or events outside of us, then we will let others determine how we spend our time. We’ll always be in a reactive mode. However, if we see that time is the most valuable resource we have, as precious as gold, we will spend our time wisely. In fact, we’ll invest our time wisely because just like other valuable assets, it will bear dividends over time.

Time is a measurement of energy: Where we spend our time reflects where we put our energy. Like water, when properly channeled, it can generate electricity that lights up a city; when not constructively channeled, it can flood millions; when not channeled at all, it may just go wasted, leaving no trace. When we channel our energy and focus on something worthwhile, it can create great things for us, and because of us. This presupposes that we know what to focus our time on, which leads to the next point.

Know thyself: I believe there are three fundamental building blocks that when properly understood and applied, will lead to our greatest potential and fulfillment in life: They are our passion, gifts and values. When we have a compelling passion, we direct our energy to express, develop and master our unique gifts. When we know what are the most important values for us in life, especially in the long run, we can make a conscious decision to choose high value activities and relationships and reduce or eliminate activities and relationships of lower value.

Schedule it: Sometimes there are multiple things we value. For example, we value both business success and quality time with our family. At times there may seem an apparent conflict between the two, given the limited time we have in any given day. If both are important values to us, we need to schedule time for both. It takes judgment, balance and efforts.

Invest your time wisely and let it bear greatest dividends for you. Don’t count every hour in the day, make every hour in the day count.